Monday was a rainy day, so when Tammy and I went out for our afternoon break we stood underneath the shelter where the central air system was.
We both happened to notice, at the same time, a tiny grasshopper that was sitting right on top of the central air unit, looking like it was holding on for dear life.
The fan was blowing the air up and out of the top. Every once in a while you would see its leg lift up, not really sure if he wind took hold of it or if it got tired of holding on to the grate too tightly.
I'm not really sure which one of use said it first but we said, "No, Don't jump, don't do it! He's not worth it."
"Just hang in there a little longer. You'll find another grasshopper that will be so much better, treat you better and even have a bigger "WINK, WINK"
Then we laughed about it. First of all because we automatically assumed it was a female and were talked her up. Then because this tiny little grasshopper still had our attention while still holding on. Which got us thinking...... hmmmmm.
This AC unit vibrates while it is running, could it be.....maybe....mayeb it was contemplating suicide - maybe it was ummmmmm trying to get off.
So now we are laughing hysterically at the thoughts that were running through our minds of this grasshopper sitting purposely on the AC unit to enjoy the vibration and here we are disturbing her pleasure.
A few of our other co-workers were looking at us strangely as we were making such a ruckus. So we gave them the short condensed version of the grasshopper needing to be rescued.
Suddenly the tiny creature attempted to move across the grate. I was afraid it would either fall in or get blown off the unit. Between the two of us (Tammy and I) we slowly assisted the grasshopper to safety.
Go, run free little grasshopper.
LOL OMG
Mike would be so proud of me.
Look honey I saved a grasshopper....aren't you proud of me?
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
I Never Measure Up
It really sucks to be my own counselor.
Why?
Because being my own counselor I have to diagnose myself. I can't just let myself be upset, mad or sad.
I have to look at all the sides and play out all the scenarios. I have to be understanding to where someone else is coming from. Making all excuses as to why they say what they did, why they feel they way they do, or think the way they think. But do they see it from my POV?
No, No they don't.
I'm so tired of feeling like I just can never measure up!
I can see where my actions come from. Why it is I am always looking for better, striving for better.
It comes from my baggage I have with my parents.
It just never seems like I can do enough to please them. It is always something that I could do to be better to make that happier.
If I had a better job, if I lost weight, if I could keep my house immaculate just maybe they would love me more. I would be the perfect person they want me to be.
Nothing is said when I have my house clean for days or weeks on end. Just when I happened to be on the run and don't have time to get things put away. Nothing is said when I go above and beyond my job. Nothing is said if I lose a pound or two only that some article of clothing I have one makes me look fat.
I have been struggling the past few months to keep my head above water. To beat this depression I happened to have stumbled head on into.
I am happy to say I have been doing very well. I have been slowly getting back to "me"
It is hard when I have so much around me that affects me and makes me feel the way I have been.
But I thought I had been doing a lot better. Improving on my life and then to get slammed today by my parents, makes me feel like all my hard work has been pulled out from under me. A set back.
I know, you're saying just let it go, shrug it off... it is easier said than done. When you h ave the same words playing over and over in your head. It's hard to get over.
I won't ever measure up to my parents expectations.
I don't even think I can or will ever measure up to my expectations.
Why?
Because being my own counselor I have to diagnose myself. I can't just let myself be upset, mad or sad.
I have to look at all the sides and play out all the scenarios. I have to be understanding to where someone else is coming from. Making all excuses as to why they say what they did, why they feel they way they do, or think the way they think. But do they see it from my POV?
No, No they don't.
I'm so tired of feeling like I just can never measure up!
I can see where my actions come from. Why it is I am always looking for better, striving for better.
It comes from my baggage I have with my parents.
It just never seems like I can do enough to please them. It is always something that I could do to be better to make that happier.
If I had a better job, if I lost weight, if I could keep my house immaculate just maybe they would love me more. I would be the perfect person they want me to be.
Nothing is said when I have my house clean for days or weeks on end. Just when I happened to be on the run and don't have time to get things put away. Nothing is said when I go above and beyond my job. Nothing is said if I lose a pound or two only that some article of clothing I have one makes me look fat.
I have been struggling the past few months to keep my head above water. To beat this depression I happened to have stumbled head on into.
I am happy to say I have been doing very well. I have been slowly getting back to "me"
It is hard when I have so much around me that affects me and makes me feel the way I have been.
But I thought I had been doing a lot better. Improving on my life and then to get slammed today by my parents, makes me feel like all my hard work has been pulled out from under me. A set back.
I know, you're saying just let it go, shrug it off... it is easier said than done. When you h ave the same words playing over and over in your head. It's hard to get over.
I won't ever measure up to my parents expectations.
I don't even think I can or will ever measure up to my expectations.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Get Off Your High Horse
I guess I'm just a different type of person.
Usually I am always thinking of how other people feel. How what I do would affect them. What I say or even how I say it would make them feel or think.
I'm not perfect, believe me I make mistakes but when I make mistakes I seriously and sincerely try to fix it or make sure I don't make that same mistake again.
I do have one exception when I might not be thinking as clearly or thoughtfully as I should and that would be when I am upset or pissed right off.
I admit I say things I shouldn't say, things I don't mean because I am hurt, mad, or upset. I have even been known to say thing purposely to hurt someone if I have been hurt myself.
But I do apologise after things have settled.
But when some people think they are so much better than others, when they think they are all that and a bag of chips and they come across that way when there is no need for it it really irks me to no end.
I am so lucky I have much restraint for not just blurting out what I think and feel when shit like this happens. I would probably be fired or in fights all the time.
Let me give you a little sample of what I am talking about.
An e-mail was send around work about with all the work that had been done to the parking lot to expand it to make room for more cars to park that there is no need for people to be parking in the motorcycle area or handicapped spots.
OK this I can understand being sent to make employees aware. But now there is a comment made about how it should be common knowledge of how this is suppose to work in the first place.
Now to me, that is very uncalled for. It makes it sound like we are all imbeciles.
Yes, the parking lot is expanded. But with the big trucks that come in with paper rolls and ink it is very hard to park at one end of the lot. Also how most people park they park crooked or so spaced out that it prevents normal parking spots to be use. My problem is when I park out in a certain area of the parking lot other people who park there are not as considerate when opening their doors. I had one person put their cigarette out on the hood of my car.
But no matter to that I understand what the underlying message is of the email.
But like I said previously, the comment made after stating the fact was uncalled for.
Sounding snobbish.
So yes, I guess it should be common knowledge as to the rules of the parking lot but I also thought it was common knowledge that you are not suppose to drink and drive.
Guess we all make mistakes
Usually I am always thinking of how other people feel. How what I do would affect them. What I say or even how I say it would make them feel or think.
I'm not perfect, believe me I make mistakes but when I make mistakes I seriously and sincerely try to fix it or make sure I don't make that same mistake again.
I do have one exception when I might not be thinking as clearly or thoughtfully as I should and that would be when I am upset or pissed right off.
I admit I say things I shouldn't say, things I don't mean because I am hurt, mad, or upset. I have even been known to say thing purposely to hurt someone if I have been hurt myself.
But I do apologise after things have settled.
But when some people think they are so much better than others, when they think they are all that and a bag of chips and they come across that way when there is no need for it it really irks me to no end.
I am so lucky I have much restraint for not just blurting out what I think and feel when shit like this happens. I would probably be fired or in fights all the time.
Let me give you a little sample of what I am talking about.
An e-mail was send around work about with all the work that had been done to the parking lot to expand it to make room for more cars to park that there is no need for people to be parking in the motorcycle area or handicapped spots.
OK this I can understand being sent to make employees aware. But now there is a comment made about how it should be common knowledge of how this is suppose to work in the first place.
Now to me, that is very uncalled for. It makes it sound like we are all imbeciles.
Yes, the parking lot is expanded. But with the big trucks that come in with paper rolls and ink it is very hard to park at one end of the lot. Also how most people park they park crooked or so spaced out that it prevents normal parking spots to be use. My problem is when I park out in a certain area of the parking lot other people who park there are not as considerate when opening their doors. I had one person put their cigarette out on the hood of my car.
But no matter to that I understand what the underlying message is of the email.
But like I said previously, the comment made after stating the fact was uncalled for.
Sounding snobbish.
So yes, I guess it should be common knowledge as to the rules of the parking lot but I also thought it was common knowledge that you are not suppose to drink and drive.
Guess we all make mistakes
How Do You Fall In Love
How do you fall in love
How do you say I do
When is the perfect time
To spend the rest of your life
Seasons may come and go
And sometimes it rains and snows
And there will be highs and lows
So only you will know
You never know just where it will find you
cause it can come on you so fast
Seems like it takes forever
When you want it so bad
But dont ever take it for granted
cause its more than sowing some seeds
It takes sun and water
So give it what it needs
And thats how you fall in love
Thats when you say I do
Thats when you know its time
To spend the rest of your life
Now seasons may come and go
And sometimes it rains and snows
There will be highs and lows
So only you will know
How do you say I do
When is the perfect time
To spend the rest of your life
Seasons may come and go
And sometimes it rains and snows
And there will be highs and lows
So only you will know
You never know just where it will find you
cause it can come on you so fast
Seems like it takes forever
When you want it so bad
But dont ever take it for granted
cause its more than sowing some seeds
It takes sun and water
So give it what it needs
And thats how you fall in love
Thats when you say I do
Thats when you know its time
To spend the rest of your life
Now seasons may come and go
And sometimes it rains and snows
There will be highs and lows
So only you will know
Monday, July 09, 2007
Working for the Weekend
Things have been very stressful in my life recently.
How quickly everything seems to fall apart.
Usually I do well shouldering it all and somehow managing to get through it.
But it takes it toll and I think that everything has finally hit me very hard.
This past weekend Mike made sure that I had a very good weekend.
For the first time in a long while I felt like things were just about back to normal.
We went to bed at a decent time, we both woke up at a decent hour (at least I thought so) and enjoyed the time we spent together.
No Stress, no tension, No Fighting.
Mike even went to played his D&D game. I was going to come home while he went to play but he wanted me to stay and convinced me to. He followed through with what he said he was going to do which is not play all night long. He said he would start early and get home at a agreed time and not get blitzed.
I don't think he realizes how much that this weekend meant to me. He gave me some normalcy to my life that I am missing and been needing to get back.
How quickly everything seems to fall apart.
Usually I do well shouldering it all and somehow managing to get through it.
But it takes it toll and I think that everything has finally hit me very hard.
This past weekend Mike made sure that I had a very good weekend.
For the first time in a long while I felt like things were just about back to normal.
We went to bed at a decent time, we both woke up at a decent hour (at least I thought so) and enjoyed the time we spent together.
No Stress, no tension, No Fighting.
Mike even went to played his D&D game. I was going to come home while he went to play but he wanted me to stay and convinced me to. He followed through with what he said he was going to do which is not play all night long. He said he would start early and get home at a agreed time and not get blitzed.
I don't think he realizes how much that this weekend meant to me. He gave me some normalcy to my life that I am missing and been needing to get back.
What's Meant To Be
Soulmate (or soul mate) is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, and/or compatibility.
People often say that there is one “Soul Mate” out there for everyone.
It’s a romantic way to think of things and this just may be true.
There may be just one person out there in this great big world that fits us like a glove - body, heart, mind and soul. When someone knows you so well that you really do feel as one when you are together. You know exactly what each other is thinking or feeling. When you do get in disagreements, one of your stops and just simply says “I love you” and that just dissolves everything.
It is very rare but occasionally it does happen.
What about the rest of the population who has not been as lucky to find their “Soul Mate”??
Are we to live a miserable lonely existence?
I believe that we have many different types of loves in our life.
If we are lucky, we learn from each relationship. The mistakes we make, hopefully we take and correct to make the next relationship better. We will go through many loves and heartaches growing from each experience. Until we come across a “Great Love”
There are only a few “Great Loves” that we will encounter. These loves are a more serious relationship. Yes, each relationship is different, your compatibility may not be an exact fit. You may have different interests, ideas, or thoughts but you are willing to do whatever it takes to make it work and to make the other person happy.
You can’t waste your life just waiting for that perfect soul mate. They might never ever show up. Even for a soul mate sometime things just are not meant to be.
So when do you know which love you have?
Are you willing to do something you know won't make you happy just to see the other person smile?
Are you willing to sacrifice what might make you happy just to make the one you love happy?
When something good or bad happens are they the first person you call or can’t wait to share your news with (no matter how silly, stupid or outrageous it may be)?
If you answered YES to some and NO to some then you have a love. You care about this person but you aren't willing to go above and beyond
If you answer yes to all of them and and are in fact doing all the above then you have a Great Love. You are gong above and beyond what it take to make things work and to make them happy. Their happiness is more important that yours. (but sadly enough even this has it's limits)
If you have that automatic understanding, there is no need for words, being so in-tune with each other then you have a soul mate.
People often say that there is one “Soul Mate” out there for everyone.
It’s a romantic way to think of things and this just may be true.
There may be just one person out there in this great big world that fits us like a glove - body, heart, mind and soul. When someone knows you so well that you really do feel as one when you are together. You know exactly what each other is thinking or feeling. When you do get in disagreements, one of your stops and just simply says “I love you” and that just dissolves everything.
It is very rare but occasionally it does happen.
What about the rest of the population who has not been as lucky to find their “Soul Mate”??
Are we to live a miserable lonely existence?
I believe that we have many different types of loves in our life.
If we are lucky, we learn from each relationship. The mistakes we make, hopefully we take and correct to make the next relationship better. We will go through many loves and heartaches growing from each experience. Until we come across a “Great Love”
There are only a few “Great Loves” that we will encounter. These loves are a more serious relationship. Yes, each relationship is different, your compatibility may not be an exact fit. You may have different interests, ideas, or thoughts but you are willing to do whatever it takes to make it work and to make the other person happy.
You can’t waste your life just waiting for that perfect soul mate. They might never ever show up. Even for a soul mate sometime things just are not meant to be.
So when do you know which love you have?
Are you willing to do something you know won't make you happy just to see the other person smile?
Are you willing to sacrifice what might make you happy just to make the one you love happy?
When something good or bad happens are they the first person you call or can’t wait to share your news with (no matter how silly, stupid or outrageous it may be)?
If you answered YES to some and NO to some then you have a love. You care about this person but you aren't willing to go above and beyond
If you answer yes to all of them and and are in fact doing all the above then you have a Great Love. You are gong above and beyond what it take to make things work and to make them happy. Their happiness is more important that yours. (but sadly enough even this has it's limits)
If you have that automatic understanding, there is no need for words, being so in-tune with each other then you have a soul mate.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Not much going on
This weekend I stayed home. I didn't go up to Mike's because he was sick. There really wasn't much I could do for him.
I kept myself busy around the house.
Saturday I went to Sunny Crest to pick out some really nice herbs that I didn't have: French Tarragon, Oregano, two different types of Rosemary, and Lemon Thyme. Then I went home and mowed the lawn.
Sunday I replanted my herbs into bigger planters and even replanted some of my plants that I had been meaning to replant into bigger pots.
I realize that I felt real good about staying home and getting things accomplished.
I really enjoyed my time.
I got quiet a bit accomplished (which for me makes me feel great!). But I also had some time to relax. I watched a few movies and took a nap later in the afternoon (45 min)
All in all it was a really good weekend.
I kept myself busy around the house.
Saturday I went to Sunny Crest to pick out some really nice herbs that I didn't have: French Tarragon, Oregano, two different types of Rosemary, and Lemon Thyme. Then I went home and mowed the lawn.
Sunday I replanted my herbs into bigger planters and even replanted some of my plants that I had been meaning to replant into bigger pots.
I realize that I felt real good about staying home and getting things accomplished.
I really enjoyed my time.
I got quiet a bit accomplished (which for me makes me feel great!). But I also had some time to relax. I watched a few movies and took a nap later in the afternoon (45 min)
All in all it was a really good weekend.
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