Nature At Its Best

I know you are all expecting my Godsmack blog and it is coming. I'm still waiting for the picture that I took with them to be posted first.



But in the mean time. The days have been getting warmer and sunny and I am just loving it!



I've got my happy pills and so far they seem to be working, its still a bit early but I can start to feel this big cloud over me starting to shift and move. I have been laughing and just enjoying my surroundings more.


I did have a couple of quick upsetting moments but I just realized "Why?" and let it go. The Pills did help though I don't believe I would have been able to do that without them.


But back to my blog subject.


I was at work today and Tammy came into my office and said I had to come out and check this HUGE Moth out. (I'm not to partial on moths but she said it looked like a butterfly)



Now her youngest daughter, Crystal, absolutely loves butterflies. For Christmas I bought her a Butterfly Pavilion with a coupon to send away for 10 painted butterflies to watch grow and changed into cocoons and then into butterflies.



Well this past Memorial Weekend they let them free.


Now here at work there was this HUGE Butterfly. It was the prettiest things I've seen and it was hairy (for a butterfly)


I guess it is called a Cercepia.

It only lives for about two weeks and their main purpose is to mate and reproduce. (Interesting! Lucky Bug)

I had my digital with me so I grabbed it and snapped a few picts.



I remember as a little girl seeing butterflies quiet often but now I just don't see many of them so when I do they are just the most awesome sight. I was a nature girl. I love animals and being outdoors, swimming, playing gardening - still do til this day. Which may explain another reason why I was down. It's like caging a wild animal. Keep me indoors all the time and I start to wilt and die.





Anyway, here are the picts I just took.

Never Again

Never Again

I hope the ring you gave to her
Turns her finger green
I hope when you’re in bed with her
you think of me
I would never wish bad things
But I don’t wish you well
Could you tell
By the flames that burned your words
I never read your letter
Cause I knew what you’d say
Give me that Sunday school answer
Try make it all okay

Does it hurt
To know I'll never be there
bet it sucks
to see my face everywhere
It was you
Who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
you knew
exactly what you would do
Don’t say
You simply lost your way
She may believe you
But I never will
Never again


If she really knows the truth
She deserves you
A trophy wife Oh, how cute
Ignorance is bliss
But when your day comes
And he’s through with you
And he’ll be through with you
You’ll die together, but alone
You wrote me in a letter
You couldn’t say it right to my face
Well, give me that Sunday school answer
Repent yourself away


Does it hurt
To know I'll never be there
bet it sucks to see my face everywhere
It was you
Who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
you knew
exactly what you would do
Don't say
You simply lost your way
They may believe you
But I never will
Never again


Never again will I hear you
Never again will I miss you
Never again will I fall to you
Never
Never again will I kiss you
Never again will I want to
Never again will I love you
Never!

Godsmack Coming Soon!

For those of you who know me or talk to me on a regular basis, you know I just recently went to the Godsmack concert last Saturday.

I have lots to blog and pictures to post but I'm still working on the pictures and waiting for the picture with Sully to be posted for me to download before I say anything more.

So I will just leave it at this for now . . . . . GODSMACK RULES!

Hollow

This says it all . . . .


One more step and I could fall away
If it happen wouldn't matter
And I can't tell if I should go or stay
Same old picture feel so hollow
How can anybody know what's best for me?
Another paint job turned in shape
And my decisions brought me to my knees
I needed someone to blame

I feel so hollow
I feel so hollow
Time to do what's best for me I believe I can change

Once upon a time in broken dreams
Reflection's that I can't face
So hold your breath and make a wish for me
Take me to a better place
Time always seems to be passing by
It never waits for me
If I could do it all one more time
I wouldn't change a thing

I feel so hollow
Time to do what's best for me I believe I can change



by Godsmack

H E L P

This has been going on for a while now. If I really think about it, it's probably been way back when Paul and I were dating. But the past 3 years I have been very unhappy.

I've had my ups and down just like everyone else and just dealt with it. I blew it off because I always seemed to bounce back.

Well the past year it has gotten to be more noticeable and in the last month have gotten worst.

I've lost interest in many things that have made me happy in the past. So much so I don't even remember what use to make me happy. I'm most irritable, sad, lonely and very moody.

All I really want to do is cry, Be left alone and sleep.

The hard thing is that I know this is happening.

I feel like I am drowning. There is this part of me inside (the Old Me) That is still alive and aware and if fighting to get back and take control. I hear myself say ... "But you want to be happy. You want to enjoy your life again. You want to laugh and have fun and really mean it"

But the small part of me that is left if getting tired and beaten down by the bigger part that is telling me That I don't care about anything anymore and everything is just there. Neither good nor bad just bla.

I've always been there for everyone. Cheering them up, Supporting them, Being the rock and life vest they can cling to until they are to safety.

I still want to be that person but I can't . Not now, and who knows maybe not anymore.

I need help. I need something or someone. I'm getting desperate and I'm not afraid or too proud to ask for help.

I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday to get some help. If it is drugs or counseling or both so be it. As long as it helps.

You Say You Love Me

You Say You Love Me
But I'm Not Enough
To Save You From Yourself

You Say You Love Me
Then Why Is It
Your Always Looking For An Out

It's Always You
You're Problems, You're Thoughts
Everything You Want

You Say You Love Me
You Hurt Me So
I Need A Helping Hand Myself

You Say You Love Me
But You Don't See
I Am Lost In All My Woes

If You Love Me Like You Say You Do
Then You Would Surely See
I Am The One Who Needs To Be
Rescued From Me

False

Sharp tongue
Quick to cut
Makes my soul bleed

Tearful eyes
All dried up
There more than what you see

Mirrored walls
Internal fight
Nowhere to escape

Empty Shell
Left to walk
Lost myself
Everythign is false.

Would You Just Shut Up!

Part of my job is to deal with customers on the phone: take subscription orders, cancellations, address changes, and of course complaints.

I have encountered people of all kinds. Some of which feel as if I am their counselor and have the need to explain every little thing to me (Like I care - Pertinent Information Only Please!)

Usually I have 101 things to do, and when the phone rings, I tend to already be int he middle of multi-tasking at least 5 of them. So I tend to be a tad bit impatient when I have to wait for the customer to give me their information or to even spit out what it is I can help them with.

Today was one of those days!

The lady on the other end kept running her mouth. Spitting and sputtering, wouldn't let me get a word in edge wise.

It wouldn't have been so bad if she was able to get a cross to me what the actual problem was but because she kept bouncing around from one thing to another I couldn't get straight what I needed to do.

Each time I tried to get a word in so I could look up her account she would cut me off and start jibber jabbering.

I was already in a irritated mood, so by the 3 or 4th time of her cutting me off and not getting anywhere I just had to cut her off.

"Would You Just Shut Up!!!!!" was what I was thinking but thankfully I had more restraint and held my tongue.

First I had to "Whoa" her to shut her up and make her stop talking and that even took me a few minutes to accomplish. I told her that she was just bouncing around so much in what she was telling me that she wasn't helping me out to fix her problem and that if she would just let me ask her what I need to know and just answer my questions that it would get done a lot faster!

I know - sounded slightly rude but I couldn't help it.

It was amazing how easily it was all taken care of once she shut the hell up!

She sounded a bit shocked and possible hurt that I said that to her but it was the truth and she will deal. She may even have been embarrassed about her rambling of an insane woman.

So if for any reason you need to call me. Make sure you already know what you are going to say, have all your information ready and at hand and please . . . . Pertinent Information ONLY!

Godsmack

Godsmack is one of my most favorite bands.

Sully is just the man! (Sorry honey, but you have your celebrity crushes too)

I am in the process of reading his book: The Paths We Choose.

It gives such an insight at all that he has been through from the time he was born up until Godsmack finally made it and it wasn't glamorous!

But it makes him even more real and down to earth.

May 19th Godsmack will be playing at the Palace Theater and I have Tickets!!!
Not only tickets to see this band yet again (I've already seen then 3 times) But to actually go and meet them!

How Cool Is That!!!

I get to Meet Sully, Tony, Robbie and Shannon. Take pictures with them, talk to them, that is just the coolest thing.

I will keep all informed and I'm sure I will have pictures to post.