New Beginnings

I have a new boyfriend!

Well.....let me back up and explain.

Lately Mike and I have been having a bit of a stressful time in our relationship. Mostly it was about his drinking. I know he said he'd stop but he had no intention of stopping. He knew this as well as I did. I was just trying to make excuses. Trying to hold on a bit longer than I should have.

It all went down last week. I won't get into all the detail but cut straight to the point. Mike ended up in the hospital. He went through detox. You might say he scared himself sober.

I was the first person he called and I had a whole bag full of emotions going through me. I was upset, scared, mad, confused, happy etc.

My first instinct was to head to the hospital to see him but it was 3 am. Since I wasn't related I didn't know if t hey would have let me see him. Plus he was sleeping it off. So the next day when they admitted him and between his mom and grandmother keeping me informed of what was going on, I went to see him after work.

Again I was filled with emotions. I was relieved he was ok, confused about how this all came about, upset to see him that way, happy he was getting the help he needed, angry he was putting me through this, and scared of where this might leave us.

But I could tell that he was serious this time. That HE wanted to stop drinking for himself.

They let him go on Friday with some medication that will help him not want to drink. He is doing very well. We spent the whole weekend together.

We started to clean up his place, which is another good thing. It's like dating someone new. He still has part of his old self there but there is this other side of him that I'm seeing and getting to know and I'm really liking him.

It's kind of scary. I've been holding back and building a wall for so long to protect myself because of how he was. Now I'm getting to know this wonderful person and possibly be able to let those walls down. I'm glad I stuck it out. But it scares me. It leaves me wide open for a broken heart.

One day at a time. It's all I can do.