Nature Walk

Saturday was such a beautiful day that I told Mike I didn't want to be stuck in the house. I mentioned going outside and maybe talking a walk.

Since he has woods in the back of his house we decided to go for a little nature walk and enjoy the fall colors.

It was nice. You could hear the rustling of the leaves. As the sun shined through the tops of the trees, in certain spots you could feel the sun warming you as it played peek-a-boo with the tree tops.

As Mike reminisced, he pointed out all his childhood play spots. The big grape vine, that looked worn out from years of fruit bearing. The big stone fence that had been altered from years of erosion.

I found big stone to just sit and take it all in. I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly and deeply. I could hear the birds chirping and the rustling of the leaves as a soft gentle breeze sifted through the air. I could just smell fall. You know that smell of leaves and the hint of winter that is just around the corner.

We continued on and Mike was still rambling on about something. I was only half paying attention to him as I drank in the scenery, savoring every bit of it. He often babbles on and on which is one of quirks that makes me laugh from time to time. (He just ever shuts up!) But I was enjoying it – the company, the scenery, the day. It was what I needed.

Continuing through the woods, we ended up coming out at the Concordia Club. We saw a big boat so we wandered over to look at it. Still walking along the tree line we ended up at the small clearing that use to overlook a pond but has been dried up for a few years now. This is when Mike got the brilliant idea of taking me down by the river.

He looked for the trail that lead there and finally found it. As we traveled further into the woods the trail seemed to have gotten more overgrown (which wasn't a problem) until the ground started to get more wetter.

Now, didn't have hiking boots on or even an old pair of shoes. What I was wearing was my nice pair of suede boots. I mentioned to him more than once, that the grounds were starting to get muddy and I didn't have the proper shoes. He kept insisting on going forward. That if I walked in the middle of the trail it was so muddy ----- WRONG!

It was just as muddy and by the time we got half way to where he thought the trail lead it was all overgrown and no trail in sight. By this time I was highly upset. I could feel a huge lump in my throat from holding back the tears. He tried leading us back to wear we came from when we came across NO Trespassing signs.

At this point my feet are wet and my boots are all muddy, I’m all hot and flustered and now all I could think of was some crazy guy coming out with a gun and shooting me because I was on his land. What made it even more upsetting is that I was basically walking by myself. Mike was so far ahead of me that there was a few times I almost lost sight of him.

I had all these thoughts and emotions running through my mind at this point. I’m wondering why I’m even bothering. This isn’t how I want to spend the rest of my life. And I don’t see where it is ever going to change.

I want to be the one to be taken care of, not have to be the maid, the mom to a 35 year old. And that is how I have been feeling. There is always some excuse or some interruption and it breaks my heart. I mean he doesn’t even drive. That puts a lot of pressure and ware and tear on me. I know he says he is trying. And he does. But just enough to say he is trying. I’ve been through this once already and I don’t want to go there again.

We finally made it through the woods and back to Concordia Club. I told him I had to sit down for a bit. So we found a nice sunny spot in the grass to sit. He had tried to pick some flowers for me (Which I did think was sweet) but I was so upset I didn’t even want to look at him. You know how you are so mad or upset you say things you don’t mean ….. I didn’t want to do that. So I thought it be best I just don’t say anything until I calmed down. Besides all I wanted to do was cry and I didn’t want him to see that either.

I know he felt bad which made me feel even worst because I know he was trying and I did have a wonderful time other that that one small little point of the whole hike. I just needed a little time to get over it. Once I calmed down I felt better. And he did end up making up for it.

OK, next time …… I Got My Rubber Boots…… Lets Go Hiking!