EMO Kid

I'm trying real hard to keep it all together. But I'm an EMO kid.

What is an EMO Kid??? Short and simple -- I am an emotional thinker. I rely more on my feelings than my thoughts.

This SUCKS!

I never want to hurt anyone. I would like everyone to be happy (Yet I know I can't always make everyone happy). My heart usually says one thing when my head is SCREAMING another.

Which is why I am usually the one who ends up hurt and miserable.

I'm a mixed type. I like to have fun and be around others, but to a certain point.
I prefer a small gathering of some good friends as opposed to a hug party filled with strangers.

And as much as I enjoy the company of others, Most of the time I would rather spend a quiet evening home, cuddled on the couch or sitting on the porch gazing at the stars.

The little things mean the most to me which in turn also means the little things can bother me the most too.

I really do think I expect way too much from others and have been told before that I am never happy.

This is a fault of mine (I do believe it comes from my mother) I always try to see the best in people. But I expect the best from them. I, for the most part, give my all. So in return I expect the best from others. Especially when I know and can see that have such great potential.

I hate to see people waste their lives when they can be so much more and do so much more.

I'm always striving for better, which tends to be yet another fault of mine.

See now I seem to be rambling not sure where Im going with this.
I guess maybe I just needed to things out so I can see them in front of me and just go from there.

I've got issues as well as anyone else. But I can't help the way I feel.

I guess what it comes down to is that I must Be true to myself. I know what I want, what makes me happy, what I can live with and deal with and what I wont live with or deal with.

As much as I think of others I must think of myself first and make sure I am happy.

I want to be Happy!

Should I Stay Or Should I Go....

So last night Mike comes out and asks me, if he got a job and moved to Florida would I go with him?

He says he knows how much I want to get out of here and that he wanted to take care of me. That is just so sweet and I would love to just jump at the chance, but there is that logical side of me.

Making sure everything is done for the right reason. I don't want him moving down there just because he thinks that is what I want.

But it is something to think about.

Hump Day!

Im sitting at home watching tv getting ready to take off, yet again, and my dad ends up calling me. He is calling me from the ER in Cooperstown. He informs me he was in an accident and asked if I heard anything from mom.

Heading to work, going thorugh an intersection some yung guy come barrelling through and couldnt stop in time. Plowed right into the side of his truck. Sent him flying into the ditch where the truck rolled onto its top then rolled back upright.

Police, Ambulance, Firetrucks were all there. They had to use the jaws of life becuase they couldn't get the door open. Then because it looked so bad they heliovaced him to Cooperstown Bassett Hospital.

But he is alright. They let him come home last night. He is just bruised up and sore but nothing broken or majorly wrong.

Where Have You Been?

OK, I haven't been around much to write in my Blog and I do apologies.

Things have been happening, nothing of any major importance but I still should take time out to write about them.

So lets see.... where to start. Been spending alot of time up in Gloversville, and with the gas prices being what they are it isn't easy on the wallet.

I seem to spend more time there than I do at my place. I can't remember when the last time I slept at my place.

Usually on the weekends Jon shows up and all three of us stay up talking all night long. But the conversations are good. The one thing that bothers me is when Mike interrupts when someone is already talking. (We were laughing about that this morning). Other than that we talk about anything and everything and we each voice our opinions.

As much as I enjoy hanging with everyone there are times I like to have our "Alone time". Although sometimes he getts a little goofy and I think he gets completely wacko. But then again maybe it's me. He says the sweetest things to me and I really do like that but I have to be modest because I do think he is crazy!

We sat on the couch the other night and watched Memoirs of Geisha (Good Movie), and Evolution, at which I laid my head in his lap and just fell asleep.

So things are going well in that aspect but there are a few things that really do bother me. The thing is for the here and now, it's doable. But if we are to have any type of future it would really have to change. And I know things dont happen over night (I'm trying to be patient) But I know myself and that is what Im afraid of.

But on a different note. My friend Danny has finally moved into his own place. Cute little place. He really needs to get laid though. You would htink it would be easy for him. After all he is a guy and a good looking one at that. Along with being funny, sweet, kind etc.....

He does have a few girls after him but for some reason he just isnt sealing the deal. Not sure what he is waiting for. He is picky but geesh we aren't talking forever here.

I am very honored though that we are close enough and feel comfortable enough to talk to each other about anything and be straight up about it. He gave me a key to his place last night. Which surprised me. But he lives right down the road from my parents now and if he happens to get locked out he can always call me and I will come a running ... LOL .... So to speak.

This weekend is memorial day weekend. So far nothing major planned. Hopefully it will be nice out. so we will see what comes about.

I know there has been alot more that has happened inbetween but Im lucky I can remember what I did last night. But I will try to make sure I at least write once a week.

Live life to its fullest and I will see you on the other side!