De javu

So I find myself Heading to the ICU at Cooperstown Bassett Hospital yet again. the last time I went through this was last year with my dad.

Now it's my mom. It doesnt seem life threatening yet. It started Friday when my dad took her to the eye doctor. She hasn't been feeling well the past few weeks. Complaining of headaches and her eyes burining and blurry vision. They thought she needed glasses. When the doctor checked her eyes she does need glasses but he also noticed that the vessels in her eyes were bleeding a lot thus causing the burning sensation. He said it was probably caused by high blood pressure.

So he wanted her to go to the hospital and have them stop the bleeding in her eyes.

When my dad took her to the hospital Friday morning. They took her BP and said it was on the verge of a stroke. Her BP was like 240 over 120 or something like that.

They admitted her to the ICU in hopes of lowering her BP and stabilizing it. But as of yesterday when I went to visit, they couldn't keep it lowered. When they gave her meds it would come down but shortly after it would increase yet again. Making her dizzy and sick to her stomach and have headaches.

It was hard leaving because she started to cry. It was like she was tired and just wanted to give up.


See my mom has been through a lot in the last 10 years. Being sick, in and out of hospitals. So it takes a lot out of her.

And with everything going on at work and in my personal life it takes a toll on me. I put on a good front. Telling everyone that everything is ok. But Im so tired of pretending and trying to be strong. For once I want to be taken care of. I want to be able to lean on someone else instead of helping everyone else up and also standing on my own.

It's just getting to be too much.