Parenting

I was debating on weather or not I should Blog about this, but isn't that what blogs are for? To write down what happens or how you feel, to inform.

To me Blogging is an Online diary that you allow everyone to view. That thought is a little unsettling sometimes.

Anyways, I was talking today to someone I care about and look up to. Someone who has always made me smile and laugh when everything else in my life brought me down. I thought he knew me pretty well. And would have known I love children and know my situation in that field.

Granted I have no children of my own right now, and who knows if I ever will. But it is not from lack of interest in wanting them but for medical reasons why I dont have them now.

We got into a conversation about playing out in the snow, building snow forts and castles and making snow angels and snowmen. He made a comment that he hasn't done any of that since he was in his teens, which is kinda sad. But he does have a child and I mentioned to him about not doing any of these things with his son and he said no that he doesnt play out in the snow. A few things were said as to why he doesn't play in the snow. I in turn gave an opinion as to why I thought his child felt this way. In no way was I putting him down or trying to tell him how to raise his child. Just simply and observation and common sense which Im sure anyone with or without a child would put together.

Whether it was in playing or him meaning what he said, the words that came out of his mouth did hurt. And me being how I am, refused to show him and let him know that what he said did hurt me alot.

To paraphrase what he said was basically that I didn't have any children so who was I to tell him how to raise his child. And when I have a child then I can give him advice.

Now why is it that some people feel that because you don't have children, that you haven't a clue as to how to raise them or that you would have no clue as to how to handle them or even know what to do with them. It's always something like: You wouldn't understand you don't have any children or how could you possible know you dont have children.

You know just because you do have a child doesn't mean that you have all the answers and have the market cornered on parenthood.

Believe me, I know plenty of parents that haven't a clue and don't care and it shows in their children. So you tell me, is possible I wouldn't or couldn't do a better job???

You can ask any of my friends how I am with children and they will all tell you that I would be a good parent.

As a matter of fact........there are many cases where trying to be too good of a parent doesnt help the child in the least. No one wants to see their child hurt or see them have any troubles but you know what, that is life. And that is how most of us learned how to live and survive because face it.......the world is not a perfect place and to have your child live in this big fantasy world that everything is all fine and dandy will only hurt them in the end. Not saying you have to be harsh with them but let them learn that they cant get everything they want all the time, that no - life isn't fair. But that not matter what happens and what they choose to do you will always love them and support them.

So no - I don't have children and I haven't got a clue as to how to raise them. But I do have a good idea as to what is wrong and right, and have the descent values that if I did have a child I would want them to know and learn and I have enough love to give and for me that is all that really matters.